The first page was getting kind of long, so I've split it and will continue on this page. When this one gets on the longer side, I'll make a page three.
  • The Flinststones on the Rocks making me have to think about Barney and Betty fucking on a vibrating bed. Really needed to make that bed rock, huh. And Fred and Wilma could hear it too. We all heard it. Why.
  • The fourth Omen movie. What a New Age mess. Also, this girl got her period early. It's because she's connected to SATAN. Oh boy. Honestly, the Omen in general looking back is some weird shit. Between these and all the "possession" type movies needing an exorcist, a lot of horror was just weirdo Christian shit. Ironically, a lot of churches would boycott this stuff even though it basically reaffirms to the masses the delusions of the Christian death cult. I just can't take any of these movies seriously. Remember that terrible sex scene in the third movie?
  • Congress wasting time having a moral panic about violent video games while deregulated everything in existence for corporate profit.
  • Enjoying an episode of The Boondocks and wondering why you never saw it again with other reruns. People these days say, "oh the show wouldn't be able to get away with all the stuff it did back then". Yeah, it didn't get away with all that shit back then either! Four episodes were banned.
  • Absolutely nothing about That 70s Show has aged well.
  • "Young ladies, young ladies / I like 'em underage see / Some say that's statutory / But I say it's MANDATORY!"
  • Dudes would just write songs openly about underage girls they fucked and make it clear the person was underage in the song.
  • "Don't Stand so Close to Me" really had the lines "Young teacher, the subject / Of schoolgirl fantasy" with a profession you can already enter pretty young (and even younger back when this song came out and teachers needed less years of college in many places compared to today) alongside "This girl is half his age". So, uh, how old is this girl? If we assume this person got a bachelor's at the typical age one would complete it (this song came out in 1980 and would be in reference to 1970s standards for employment) plus some training afterwards, a young teacher would probably be around 23-27. Any older seems a little silly to call a "young" teacher. Even 27 is pushing it. Thirty is definitely not a "young" teacher. So, right out the gate, as half of thirty is fifteen, this girl must be under fifteen years of age. Since we're presuming this is taking place in the UK, we can also presume she'd need to be 17 to drive, as the song makes a suggestion about her being too young to drive with this part: "Wet bus stop, she's waiting, his car is warm and dry". The age of consent in the UK is sixteen, so just from that line we can't tell if she's technically legal or not, but the "young teacher" part nixes that. If we assume 23-27 age of the teacher, the girl is somewhere between 11 1/2-13 1/2 years old. If we're generous and round up, 12-14. Still well below the age of consent. This isn't a "technically it's legal, but it's morally gross" situation. This is straight up completely illegal. This is further proven by these lines: "Loose talk in the classroom to hurt, they try and try / Strong words in the staffroom, the accusations fly /It's no use, he sees her, he starts to shake and cough / Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov". Dolores Haze is twelve at the start of the novel Lolita. She escapes H.H. around age fifteen, marries someone around her age and has to see H.H. one more time when she's seventeen to beg for money due to being so broke, and dies in childbirth before ever reaching her eighteenth birthday. Everything in this song is telling us this is a child. She very much is likely 12-14. Sting was previously a teacher, making this whole song even creepier. He was a teacher for about two years, around when he 23-25.
    Sting graduated college with a B.A. in education and went on to teach English, music and soccer to nine and ten year olds at a Catholic School in the UK. He was the only male teacher there. The singer once revealed that while he didn't experience anything described in the song, his time teaching still inspired the 1980 hit "Don't Stand So Close to Me." -iHeart Sting further explained in a 1993 interview with The Independent that "this idea of a teacher, a Humbert Humbert character, appealed to me because I'd been a teacher before the Police. Also, to be frank, it was right in our market - a lot of teenage girls were buying our records. So the idea was let's write a Lolita story.” -Ultimate Classic Rock
    Stores will still play this song because it's "nostalgic".
  • Butterlfy. Sugar. Baby.
  • We all got a virus or two from Limewire.
  • The Gundam Wing fandom mostly revolving around the 1st four episode of the show for a while because of Blockbuster and fujoshi. I'm not explaining this. To this day, Relena is still getting shat on for her behavior in those four episodes from a show that is over forty episodes long. That, and the US dub fucking up Heero's character because his VA just refused to emote during any lines. On the other end of the shippers, there were people screaming about how all the boys had love interests. For Trowa, they would claim this was Cathy Bloom, his biological sister. ♫Sweet Home Alabama♫
  • Disney dominating the 2D film market with repetitive, big budget slop while going out of their way to fuck over smaller studios by any means necessary only to intentionally crash the 2D film market and then shutter their own 2D film department so they could move to CG films.
  • I still know why this voice means everything, but I don't know why I still know that. Even in my sleep, that rooster's words are stuck in my head.
  • Before anime became mainstream, people would go out of their way to intentionally mispronounce Japanese words. This wasn't that they didn't know better. If you educated them about this, they would doubledown on how their way "sounded better", so it didn't matter. This is an American thing. Ramen being intentionally mispronounced was a big one. Ray-men was preferred by a lot of of Americans, but especially stupid were the ones who decided it would be better pronounced as "Roman". This applied to other languages too, especially Spanish. The ramen one was just an especially dumb one. There were also people who would non-ironically say "tor-til-a" and "jah-lop-e-no" because "this is 'merica".
  • Chopsticks in hair, kimono t-shirts, and stick on bindies from the dollar tree.
  • Anime dubs would not even bother trying to say anyone's name correctly. Hell, they wouldn't even bother having the entire cast pick one way to say any name. It was just a choose your own pronunciation game. You would even see one VA pronounce the same name differently from scene to scene. No one gave a fuck. This made a lot of these dubs so-bad-they're-good, but a lot of them were just plain bad.
  • "What's with this big ass?" "Dat ass needs you, granny."
  • Manga was called "Main-gah", for some reason. By everyone. Even the weebiest weebs who would pronounce other things closer to correctly and be anal about it. No one knows why.
  • Boku no Pico being every goddamn where on YouTube.
  • Bible Black being on YouTube.
  • There were some days on old YouTube where there were just constant spams of porn trailers and porn clips being uploaded. A lot of them would be uploaded as "educational".
  • Chuck Norris jokes.
  • So many "teen"/college movies just casually having rape in them by the "good guys".
  • "1000 Games" packs where it's really like 20 full games and a bunch of trials and trailers for paid games you have to download at various shady sites, some of which will already be dead when you buy this $1 disc.
  • That one Sony demo disc that had like two games on it and when you played it, it erased any memory card you had in the console at the time.
  • Marilyn Manson bragging about raping women openly.
  • Time Warner Classic presents...~♫IT'S THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS♫~ Call now in the next ten minutes and we'll include not one, but two shitty CDs.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh is my anti-drug.
  • In the glory days of home consoles, a TV commercial actually had the nerve to say "more fun than a pillowfight" as if that would really get the kids going wild for their phone order only product. The majority of ads in this time period always seemed like they were made by ancient Greatest Gen on what they thought would entertain their own kids decades ago (but probably didn't). If the ads didn't feel like they belonged in a nursing home, they were usually the other formula I mentioned on the first page with the hyper gendering. And even those still felt like an old person came up with them.
  • Anne Rice doxxing and harassing underage fans for writing fanfiction and never apologizing for it in her entire life.
  • All the psychic and ghost hunting shows, including the ones about kids. But honestly, these shows in general often grifted off other people's grief. And companies would place their ads in between these shows, because no one gave a fuck. Sylvia Browne was probably the most notorious of the lot because she wouldn't even be nice to the people she was grifting. She would actively be hurtful to them and that was her shtick to "prove" she was legit. After all, if she was really a grifter, would she be so mean about it?!! So many people fell for this.
  • Local radios getting bought up by one private company that eventually turned into iHeartradio and began the end of people actually selecting what music was popular to corporations choosing the music for you and convincing you you had agency in it. Thanks to some nice deregulating by Clinton in the 90s. And now we have algorithms to tell you what you should like while convincing you the ideas came from your head, but it all starts in the mid-90s like the news going to shit starts with Reagan in the 80s.
  • The uncensored version of "Let's Get it Started" by Black Eyed Peas.
  • Loads of shitty cartoons that people are nostalgic for sucked ass, but they had really good theme songs. That's basically all they were, theme songs. Be honest. You don't remember shit about Angry Beavers or Catdog.
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